Short Solo

Death has been at the front of my mind going on four years. What a depressing opening. Yet it comes with a silver lining.

The pain of mourning is balanced by positive memory and nostalgia.

I’m still processing the passing of my mom (December 17, 2025) and regularly think of a cousin who passed away on January 23, 2026. Both have their memorials this month – one day apart.

Add to that the start of the 2026 World Cup, and I immediately think of my dad who died on December 10, 2022 during the semi final match of the 2022 World Cup.

Knee-hockey with a cousin

My cousin’s husband – who I’ve always considered a cousin – carries many memories from the summers between my high school years.

He’d always organize regular lunch hour games of hockey in the living room. We’d slap a nerf ball to try and score against each other using imaginary boundaries on either side of the room. This almost always led to spirited debates -sometimes fights – because almost every other goal was controversial.

Our knees bloodied and raw from carpet burn have been part of a handful of dreams I’ve had of him recently. Those memories also include great times at the lake.

Mom and my love of travel

I’m fortunate that I was able to be with mom in her final weeks. I acknowledged to her that our strained relationship doesn’t take away from all the reasons I was so lucky to have her as my mom.

Mom was the only driver in our home. She was also the primary caregiver, pausing her career aspirations to regularly drop everything for every school event, medical appointment and full summers at Lake Minnedosa.

I think this is why I forced myself to yell, “Way to go mom!” during her university convocation – despite being introverted and uncomfortable. Her initiative to return to university to obtain her Bachelor of Education would inspire me years later to enroll in university as a mature student.

The thing I love the most in life is the privilege to travel. The confidence to do that comes directly from my mom who provided an early example of independence when she took my sister and I to California and Mexico.

Tijuana scared the shit out of me, but mom didn’t blink showing that the sense of adventure should always be stronger than fear.

Dad’s final words

The other day I watched Morocco draw against Brazil. This is the first World Cup since dad passed away. This immediately brought me back to that last Saturday morning with him.

The 2022 World Cup was historic. Morocco defeated Belgium, Canada, Spain and Portugal to become both the first African and Arab nation to make a semifinal.

It was December 10th and Morocco was about to face France when I went to visit dad to watch the game. The last coherent words dad strung together and said to me were, “how about Morocco!”

Shortly after this I could see how much he was struggling and I convinced him to go to the hospital. He collapsed trying to get ready and we wouldn’t have a chance to watch that entire game.

Morocco lost that semifinal. I like to think that dad’s death and Morocco’s loss are somehow connected.

I’ll always root for the underdog – just like my dad. My sense of justice and equality wrapped up in the values I saw in him.